peter pan

"When I grow up, I will never grow up."
- Andrew Lopez

The world is yours

Every once in awhile an mc will come out that is truly on a different level then other mc's. God status. Since Nas there has been very few, but the new crop is starting to impress me a lot. This dude, Fashawn is definitely climbing ranks like Iowa football, but this Ode to Illmatic mixtape launched him to the top of the underclassmen. In his arena are J. Cole and Jay Electronica though. Real hip hop shit.



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quarter pounder

i am officially a quarter of a century old, and for better or worse, do not feel that way. i still act like a child, and find that i have to scold myself when i begin to act out of my age range, which is more often then not. 25 is tricky because you are pretty much considered an adult by everyone below that range, but are still obviously not 26. or 27, and so forth. i feel like every year after 24, your perceived age advances more then just 365 days. when i tell friends that are only 22 or 23 that im now 25, the usual response is, "holy shit dude!" or in my students' case "damn old head, you be old as shit!" either way is less then preferable, and is kind of sad for someone so young at heart such as myself that just wants to be 9 again. my favorite movies are still pixar, and probably always will be. i still watch more cartoons then live action shows and read more comic books then novels. i prefer cool t shirts to anything with buttons on it, and still wear skinny jeans over khakis or dress pants. i prefer vans to whatever it is that 25 year olds should prefer, and play more video games then i have in the last 5 years. my life still has about as much direction as it did when i was 12, except with twice the responsibility, and about the same income.
im about a week and a half away from being done with city year, which will be the biggest relief since graduating high school, and then college. my future plans are as of yet, in the air, with a guaranteed summer job at vans, and another potential tutoring position with americorps for the summer, or a summer camp with salvation army. anything beyond august is unaccounted for, and quickly making its way onto my radar. the plan has been to move back to the midwest, since moving the entire city of philadelphia that way is as of yet unfeasible. i dont know where i want to live, or how i will find a living, and yes its disconcerting, but at the same time refreshing. sometimes not knowing whats next is more exciting then having something to look forward to. or maybe im just justifying my inaction in the job hunting department. i think it would be uncharacteristic of me to know anything more then a month in advance anyway.
the idea of leaving my students is perhaps one of the hardest concepts ive ever had to deal with however. they have all become like younger brothers and sisters, and even friends for some of them. the 8th graders are graduating, and will eventually move on to either drop out, or go to a high school that is the equivalent of a prison, only more dangerous. they will be picked on, and undoubtedly beat up and more then likely have their life threatened verbally, as well as physically. this will just be while in school. life for students after middle school takes a treacherous turn for the worse for most philadelphia students, as they are no longer "kids" in the neighborhood. the notion of no women and children is now expired for the incoming freshman, and so have to depend on family and friends, or themselves for any kind of protection. the 7th graders are moving on to 8th grade at Creighton Elementary, which is equally scary because there will more then likely not be a city year returning there, which was about the only motivation most of these kids had. they are my little babies, and then thought of them even existing without me at all is pretty disheartening. but i guess you just gotta let go. i will definitely miss the hell out of them though.

this is a picture of the 7th grade "306" boys. theyre a little rough around the edges, but who didnt flip off a camera when they were in 7th grade? from left kordell robinson, antoine walker (not the former celtics player) steven watts, marquis justice-hunter and steven pilotti. if i were in 7th grade these kids would undoubtedly be my best friends. i spent the first month with these kids only talking about call of duty 2, the boondocks, and steven pilloti's self comparisons to larry fitzgerald, randy moss, and desean jackson . it eventually turned into math tutoring here and there, but for the most part, we just kick it. i can only hope they grow up to be as cool as they are now. i am definitely lucky for knowing them. hopefully they feel the same about me.