allergic to life

not sure what i did to piss life off so much, but for awhile now its kinda been picking on me pretty hard. from the small things that just piss me off to the extreme things that are seriously hindering my existence. today alone life kicked my ass 5 different times. this morning i hit my funny bone on the couch while watching some show before going to the grocery store. life attacked again while opening the car door where i banged my leg trying to get in. life once again happened while dicking around with the grocery cart and smashed my elbow in the same place the couch got me. life reared its ugly head again while being dropped off at the bank, once again smashing itself into my leg, vicariously through the car door. and the 5th one is actually an interesting story.

while going on my daily run up fayette street, i was nearing the cemetery and immediately began thinking about the death and burial conversation scott and i had on the way home from the store. the thoughts in my head ranged from what music i would want at my funeral, burial vs cremation, to what i would say in a suicide note, to what kind of effort i would make to become christian if i knew i was going to die soon. this inner dialogue was all at the expense of my running concentration, and upon crossing the street to get to the cemetery i was inches from being first smashed by a moving van, then almost beheaded by its passenger side mirror, and then barely spun out of the way of getting hit by the side of the van going at a decent clip. the van immediately stopped and asked if i was okay, all the while my dumb ass was staring at the middle aged lady in the SUV i was trying to beat to get across the street, gaping mouth covered by both hands. apparently i was almost seriously bashed up. i told the driver of the van that i was ok, and apologized and insisted it was my fault, all while mentally shaking my head at how funny life must think it's being right now. not only had it attacked again, but it was ironically while i was thinking about death. touche life.

returning to the jog, i was pretty rattled, but made the lap around the cemetery, whilst considering my stance on miracles and "signs" vs coincidences. while i have always considered myself a level headed person, it did get me to thinking about life/death and even an afterlife. which once again scared my stupid mortal ass into thinking about religion. ive never been one to consider christianity solely as a way to be saved, but i was rattled enough into wanting to read the good book, something i have had myriad conversations and arguments about, but have admittedly not read very much of. is there any good way to go about reading this ancient specimen to get the most out of it or should i just jump into genesis and plow through the old testament to get to jesus? i honestly dont know a whole lot about the bible, or the gentle jew, but have been told by several people that i would dig his philosophies and even his ministry style. so unless someone advises differently (lets be honest, no one really comments on this page anyways outside of matthias) then i think im gonna jump to jesus and get my new testament on. if nothing else ill at least have a little bit more knowledge about such a contentious book, but who knows, maybe ill be saved.